I posted yesterday about some of what has been going on in my life that I don’t talk about. You know, those bad things that we don’t talk about because we don’t want people to know how bad things are and we don’t want people to judge us.

I had a few good internet friends offer to help out a few days ago when I finally owned up and dumped on them what was going on. Today I swallowed my pride and gave them the means to help me.  That is why this logo

is in my my sidebar. It links to THIS PAGE and the story of what my family has been going through and how we ended up where we are right now. We managed to raise the money we needed to get our car back and pay our utilities. However we were hit with a couple of surprises today. First, the fees to the auction place that has our car are higher than we were originally told. $70 may not seem like a lot but right now it’s the difference in if we can keep a doctors appointment. Surprise number two came in the form of a shut off notice for the water. It needs to be paid three day before our next payday. Three days. The water company will make arrangements with us but it means that we have to give them 20% of the bill right away, another $81. Money we don’t have. Then, on his way out to work my husband drops on me that one of his medications needs filled, and it’s one of the expensive drugs. Not that we have money to put gas in the van where he can go to work or cover tomorrows doctors co-pay with the neurologist. I asked him days ago if he had meds that needed filled while I was trying to come with the amount of money we needed to fix everything. I was told, “I don’t think so.” He couldn’t even check.

I mentioned to someone today that I am ready to go stark raving Cheshire Cat mad since the neighbors don’t like it when I engage in primal scream therapy.

When seeing a homeless person on the street begging for money for food a few things sometimes enter the mind, not necessarily in this order:

  • Is he really going to use the money for food and not booze or drugs
  • How did he become homeless?
  • Was it his fault?
  • Surely it could have been prevented.

We always judge those people standing on the street begging. Where I live there is what we refer to as a Hobo Camp not far from our house. It’s basically a wooded spot on public lands where a number of homeless people have set up tents and live together helping each other out. Some of them have lived there so long that they don’t know any other way of life. Every time I go out I see at least one of the homeless from the Hobo Camp.

It doesn’t take much for someone to end up in these circumstances. Not everyone has family who can bail them out of a bad situation. Some people have family who caused the situation.

Our car was repossessed because we had to pay medical expenses for our daughter. What if it hadn’t been our car that we couldn’t make payments on but our rent? Then what? It’s really a sobering thing to consider. We could be a family of 9 living out of our van somewhere unable to provide the basic necessities for our children, let alone their medical needs. Those agencies that are put in place to help people, the ones that the government wants to give less and less money to because of abuse, only help when it comes down to the last second and you have to be poor. Like living below the cost of living poor. They won’t help families like mine who ended up with a shut off notice on their utilities because of medical expenses because my husband makes decent money. We normally don’t have these kinds of problems but when handed a grand total of $1160 in medical expenses that we don’t normally have the money has to come from somewhere.

I have been in doctors offices and emergency rooms in the last three months where there are signs on the walls stating that it is LAW that all co-pays be collected at the time of service. We don’t fork over our co-pays our daughter doesn’t get medical care. You don’t tell a 15 year old girl who is scared because she has lost her ability to talk and is in so much pain that she can’t walk and she’s sitting in a wheelchair looking at you wanting you to make it all better and make the hallucinations stop,  “Sorry, you can’t see the doctor, you are going to have to suck it up and suffer.” No one is going to do that to their child if they can prevent it.

So you rob Peter to pay Paul. At some point it catches up with you and then you have very little time to fix it. If you can’t fix it you loose your car, or you are evicted with nowhere to go.

Life happens. Medical emergencies happen. Things that we have no control over happen. You do what you can to recover from them. Sometimes it’s not enough.

We were able to come up with the money to pay the bank what we owed them for the car, plus their fees. We were able to pay all the utilities. We also came up with the money to pay the auction site their storage fees, but we were unable to come up with the money for basic need things such as medications, doctors appointments, gas for my husband to get to and from work. I swallowed my pride and decided to let those people who offered help me out. I have never had to ask for help before and it was hard. We can normally take care of ourselves.

The MS diagnosis for my daughter has been devastating to us financially (and we aren’t even done with the diagnosis process, we don’t even know what kind of MS she has yet), emotionally and mentally. I used to think “I have autistic children, I can handle anything”. Believe me, you would be surprised what you learn to handle when autism is involved. Now I am not so sure. Nothing could have prepared me for having to deal with MS. One day my daughter is fine, a seemingly normal 15 year old, the next day she is in a wheelchair unable to use her legs or telling me she can’t see. It’s difficult. It’s emotionally and mentally taxing. I haven’t slept properly in three months because of the stress.

Then, just when you think it can’t get any worse it does.

One thing leads to another and the dominoes fall.