I have declared war once again on the crap service provided by our wonderful postal service. This is round two. Apparently they forgot what a pain in the ass I was to them the last time our service was awe-inspiring awful. When you call the Post Office about a yellow slip left in the mail box because the mail carrier was too damn lazy to carry a box up to your door and knock  and you are told, “We are sorry, we can’t find your mail but you are more than welcome to come down here and pick it up” you know there is a problem.

This was Silver Spring, Maryland approximately 9 years ago. There wasn’t a week that didn’t go buy that I wasn’t calling them or going in complaining about their incompetence. It was truly incredible. I still stand by my claims that, at the time, we had the worst mail carrier ever. The one we have now comes in a close second and the mail service is at the top of my shit list, and they have heard about it. I just wonder if they are going to answer my email or if I am going to have to physically write a letter and mail it to them, and hope that they can deliver it properly to themselves. It might be a stretch.

We have lived at 4301 Evergreen for three years. Around the corner is a 4301 El Dorado. Anyone see where this is going? We have gotten as much of our own mail as we have the neighbors mail in the last three years. The same goes for our neighbor. For a while it seems they were being nice and putting our mail in our mailbox. It’s the only explanation as to why we would have to mail deliveries.  I have always given their mail back to the mail carrier telling him it wasn’t ours or I have dropped it off at the post office. After having to carry a large box full of electronic bibles one Christmas season I am done taking them their mail. The mail carrier can do it, it’s his job. He seems to stop reading at 4301 E. giving him a 50/50 shot at delivering the mail to the right house and it probably saves him time.

This has gone on for three years. At some point the neighbors quit bringing us our mail. They are probably sick of it. It’s not their job. In the last 30 days or so there are a number of things that we have not received. I am not going to go into the details of everything but let’s just say we are sitting on shut off notices for all of our utilities (can’t pay something if you don’t know it’s due – and I don’t want to hear any crap about how I can always access stuff on line – some of the stuff we can not and when you are spending your time going back and forth from doctors trying to solve a medical mystery while dealing with the death of a close family member you don’t think about these things. Bills show up in the mail you pay them. If they don’t show up you forget about them. Some people need that paper reminder – it’s how everyone over 25 has been conditioned their entire life and humans are creatures of habit).

Now, here is where the real problem comes in. You can make arrangements with utility companies and for the most part they are reasonable. We didn’t get a vital piece of mail. It’s caused a serious hardship and has endangered the medical care of our daughter. I sent an email letter of complaint to the postal service letting them know why we should have never gotten rid of the Pony Express and suggesting they hold a class for their mail carriers and sorters on how to properly read an address label, assuming they are all fully literate. Hey, in my letter of complaint to our gas company I called them Skynet. In hindsight I probably should have complained every time I got someone else’s mail and complained every time we marked something “return to sender, not at this address” mailed back to us. I once resorted to using multiple colored Sharpie markers and writing “Not at this address, return to sender” all over the envelope in about 14 different languages (including Klingon just to be a smart-ass) figuring that I might hit on one that someone at the post office understood.

Guess it’s high time that I start complaining about everything until they get sick of me. Last time I did this, the postal workers in the post office knew me on sight and most of them wouldn’t even talk to me. They always got the manager to take care of everything I wanted, even if it was just buying stamps.

I should also start saving the sarcastic letters of complaint that I find myself sending off every now and again. The collection might make a good book. They seem to get results.

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