Anyone been watching the new show on A&E called The Walking Dead?  Sometimes I think I would rather try and survive a zombie apocalypse than live with fibromyalgia. Yea, I know, that seems a bit extreme but since the weather has gotten cold I have felt like crap…and crap may be an understatement.

This past year has been hell for me health-wise.  Last winter took a horrible toll on me.  We had to dig out of not one but three snow storms and to add insult to injury we have a very inconsiderate neighbor who thought he was doing everyone a favor by taking it upon himself to plow our neighborhood.  Now, our neighborhood only has one road in and out that kind of loops around and has a number of small cul-de-sacs on it.  It’s not very big but it’s also one of those neighborhoods that get plowed last when snow hits, if it gets plowed at all.  Yea, it’s that kind of area. So our neighbor thought he was being helpful.  His definition of being helpful is to clear the road but at the same time move all the snow from the road into people’s freshly shoveled driveways.  Oh yea, he did that.  And to to top it off, he piled even more snow on top of the neighborhood fire hydrants where they couldn’t be found.  Seriously.  He did this crap with every snow storm making more work for everyone.  I know I helped shovel out our drive and our neighbors drive (she’s an 80 year old woman) more than once.  Winter did no favors for my back and hip or my fibro.

I felt like once I came in I never warmed up.  At some point all I wanted to do was sleep and we won’t even talk about the few days it felt like every bone in my body was broken from the low pressure that was hanging over us bringing in these storms.  When spring came bringing with it allergy season (another neighbor and I were taking bets who was going to die first from the cherry blossoms) I felt like I hadn’t recovered from winter.  Long story short, I found out I had an undiagnosed thyroid disorder and ended up having to go in for a total hysterectomy (yes, my ovaries are gone as well).  Because of my medical history I had to have major surgery and wasn’t one of the lucky people who had it done laproscopically.  Thanks to the fibro I neded up sleeping for six weeks afterward.  I remember very little from those weeks I slept so much.  This isn’t an exaggeration.    It’s been six months and my incision site still hurts.  It doesn’t hurt bad, and some days are worse than others, but it still hurts.

So, here we are a year later and I am tired and sick and in pain.

I have arthritis in my neck and I can’t remember a time in the last several years that it hasn’t hurt, but it hurts more than normal.  My right calf keeps cramping and hurting.  Right before we moved last time I had a freak accident going down the stairs.  I heard a loud pop in my calf and couldn’t put any weight on it.  Went to the ER and no one figured out what the problem was.  They did an ultrasound to make sure there wasn’t an infarction or blood clot but never x-rayed it.  It still gives me problems over two years later.  My right foot hurts.  It’s been crushed twice.  There is the normal right hip pain that depending on the day is worse than normal.  The carpel tunnel and tendinitis is acting up in my right hand and arm.   Sharp pain is coming and going in my left ankle that I have no idea what is causing it.  I don’t remember any major injury to it.  Then there is the all over fibro pain.  It hurts to be touched.  It hurts to wear certain clothes.  Horrible debilitating tiredness goes with the fibro and just going to the grocery store means I need a three hour nap.

It’s really impossible to function under these conditions.  I have so much I need to do but I don’t feel like doing any of it.  I don’t have the energy.

The worst part of it is the worst of winter isn’t here yet.  It’s going to get colder and I am going to end up feeling a lot worse before I feel better.

Yes, a zombie apocalypse would be easier to live through, I am sure.  Yea, I would have to worry about being lunch for the undead but at least I wouldn’t be in pain and I would have the energy to want to stay alive.

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